Better Man
by AnnCarter
Summary: He's not a better man than any of the monsters he's encountered in Fox River. After hearing what he did to Sara, he finally understands it. But Lincoln disagrees and is determined to show his little brother that. [During 2X04 "First Down"]


_All rights for Prison Break are Fox's. I own nothing._

 **AN:** Michael is my new crush. MiSa are my new couple. 3

* * *

 _You're better than that._ Michael Scofield kept telling himself as he stared at Bellick who was, very smugly, telling him about Sara. _You're better than that. You're a better man than him. You're a better man._

"You haven't been reading the papers, have you, college boy?" He continued, his voice smug even though he seemed serious. "Cops found your girlfriend fish-belly white, gargling her own puke."

"Shut up." His voice sounded more strained than he'd have liked. But he couldn't take it. He couldn't let go of the fact he may have just destroyed Sara's life completely. _You're better than this, Michael. You're a better man than this._

"What do you care? So long as she left the door open for you."

"Shut up!" He yelled, knowing if the ex-guard says one more word he'll burst. _You're a better man._

"Hit a sore spot, didn't I?" He was nearly grinning, and unable to hold back anymore, he kicked his face, almost hoping the other man dies. He felt the desire to destroy him, to just take the gun from Linc and empty the magazine into his head, but seeing the look in his brother's eyes, he – barely – managed to walk away, leaving the hidden barn first.

* * *

As Lincoln drove away from there, Michael couldn't stop thinking about the things he's done. He did his research, yes. He knew he was going to meet her and knew what he needed to do in order to get her. But he never once thought this would happen. The same man who planned everything and knew everything that could happen and might happen… he didn't even think it was a possibility. He didn't think he could fall in love with her.

 _It was real, you and I. It's real._ His mind kept playing their last conversation over and over again, as if he could change it just by thinking about it. He wanted to tell her so much. He wanted to tell her he had no idea she was found the way she was. He wanted to tell her that learning it tore him apart, that he would have collapsed right there and then if it wasn't for Lincoln. He wanted to tell her that he's never loved anyone the way he loved her.

But he knew she wouldn't believe him.

And that tore him apart more than anything else.

 _Am I, really, a better man?_ He found himself wondering as he looked outside the window, at the golden fields around them. _I destroyed her life. And she's not the only one. Veronica was shot. Westmoreland trusted me and never got to see his daughter again. Sara…_

Apparently some of his inner doubts appeared in his eyes, because Linc sent him a worried glance through the front mirror. He tried to shrug it off, but Linc clearly didn't believe him and probably knew what was bothering him. They were brothers, after all. They were the only thing each other had for years now.

"Michael," He said quietly, so quietly that even Michael could barely hear him, let alone Nika in the back seat. "You couldn't have done anything different. You did what you had to do."

He shook his head. "I could have taken her with us."

"Yeah? How do you think the Governor would have taken that, if his daughter went missing along with a group of escaped prisoners?"

"He's already chasing us. The feds are already following our trail. It couldn't have been worse."

"Look at what happened when we tried to break L.J free." Linc's voice was so quiet it could almost have been considered calm, but Michael knew that was hardly the case. His brother despised himself after losing L.J almost as much as he despised himself now.

"Would you have given up?" Michael asked, suddenly turning to look at his older brother. "If you knew in advance that would be the result of this, would you have avoided doing it?" Lincoln hesitated. Michael shook his head slightly and turned his head back to look through the window.

"L.J is my son, Michael." Lincoln said quietly after a long silence. "I'd rather die than lose him."

Michael didn't reply for a long moment, causing Lincoln to glance at him worriedly again. Eventually, when he spoke, his voice was cold – a sign of the feelings inside his heart. "And if it was Veronica?"

Lincoln kept driving ahead, not replying, and Michael knew he won the argument.

He wished he wouldn't have.

* * *

When they left Nika by the side of the road and continued driving towards the farm in Utah, Michael found himself adding another name to the list of the people whose life he ruined. He dragged them – all of them – into this to break Linc out. Because Linc was the most important thing. Linc was the only one he had.

It was his fault he was in prison in the first place. If he'd have picked up the phone…

"Michael, stop it." It was one of the few times Linc actually sounded like his older brother and not the other way around.

"I should have shot him when I had the chance." He said quietly, again staring out the window.

"Bellick?" He nodded. "You're better than that, Michael."

"Didn't you hear the way he talked about her?" He was barely even listening. "Like she's some sort of a freak, a monster, when he's the monster."

"He knew that's the way to get to you."

"We should have left him underneath Fox River." Michael continued, almost seeing it in his imagination. "Where they would never have found him. Westmoreland would have gotten medical care-"

"Michael, that's enough." Lincoln's voice was strained. "You're not a murderer. You've never been a murderer."

"No," Michael agreed quietly, "I'm worse than that."

Linc pressed the breaks, bringing the car to an abrupt stop by the side of the road. Michael stared at him, not entirely sure what he was doing. Veronica was right, apparently; they do have somewhat of a dysfunctional idea of love.

"Listen to me." He grabbed him forcefully, nearly hurting him. Michael didn't mind. "None of this is your fault. Mom dying. Dad leaving. Me being framed. Sara and Veronica. None of this is your fault. You were always the better man between the two of us."

"How? By hiding what I did?" His voice was bitter.

"By not going down that way!" With the dangerous look in his brother's eyes, Michael could almost believe he was the one to have killed Stedman. But he was his brother. He knew he didn't. "You always were and probably always will be the good kid. Sara and Veronica were in danger the moment they met either one of us. And we were in danger the moment dad left. I just made it worse but hanging out with the wrong people."

"Sara-"

"Do you really think she would have just been okay with my execution?" Michael hesitated. "You and I both know she's better than that. The door was just the tipping point."

Michael attempted the look down, but couldn't, not while Lincoln was still holding him. "If anything happens to her, Linc…" His voice broke, telling his brother just how much he really did love her. "I know she doesn't believe me, but it was real. It's always been real."

"I know." Lincoln's tone softened. For the first time in what felt like forever, Linc was the older brother and Michael was the younger one again. "But the only way to show he that would be to go back there after – _if_ – we clear our names."

Michael looked down for a moment before nodding. "We still need to get to the farm," He said, turning back to the road. Linc nodded and restarted the car. "We just need to hope we'll get there first."

"Let's go."


End file.
